A path too often travelled

I have spent a great deal of my life back treading to get past prior mistakes in life and for me they just never seem to stop. While talking with a dear friend of mine on the phone last week, I spoke of how the hardest thing in my life to get past is the short temper and the anger that is in me. Now I don't know about the rest of you but I struggle. I have been blessed with the strength to get past every bad habit, including smoking , by the power of God, but I will be darned if I can't get past this anger of mine.

I have spent thousands of dollars and many waisted evenings sitting in some form of counseling or therapy over the course of my life and almost all of it has been because of some anger issue, now a reformed man (LOL I try) I strive to get over things that are not in conjunction with heavenly Fathers plans of how we should be. I have tried many things to get past this issue but am at a stand still most of the time.

So I speaking to my dear friend, I say to him that I always think it is funny how God seems to try and get us to see the err of our ways. I was given a set of C/D's from one of my co-workers to listen to entitled " Being a better you " as I am reading the books " Broken things to mend, by Jeffrey R. Holland" and also " 7 habits of highly effective people " I don't know, you think someone is trying to tell me something or am I just digging that hard.

Honestly and all joking aside....I hate getting angry I really do, nothing makes me feel smaller or less worthy of His grace then when I get mad and yell at my children or my spouse, and further more when they are hurt by it. I struggle so much and find that I am back in a position almost daily that I have to ask for forgiveness to them and God for my actions and words. Humbling for me aggravating to them. So I have been praying harder and more fervently that God will help me be a better Husband, Father, Priesthood holder, and man. The first Sunday of the month is coming up and that is what I am going to focus on for my fast , and all you that read this I ask that you would please throw my name into yours if you feel inspired to help me in my quest to be a better me.

If you haven't seen the movie "Fire Proof" You should. It is a spiritual movie of a man facing a problem like mine...the great thing is that the movie was inspired of a real book called " The Love Dare " I bought it a week ago and have secretly started the dare. I had to repeat day 1 three times before I got through but now I am onto day 3 so hopefully and with faith I can make it to day 40 and turn that into 40+ years.

Not often do I put myself out there for all to see, but I can't hide behind anger nor can I bottle up the feelings anymore. I want a good life for me and my family, that's why we joined the Church and devoted our lives to God. So I ask all who read this to keep us and me in your prayers and through that I know I will find strength.