Don't it Hurt?

I find myself in an awkward position from time to time. I get caught up in the things of this world and let them drag me down to the point of not feeling worthy of God's grace. Grace and forgiveness go hand in hand you can't have one without the other, but for me I have a hard time dealing with feeling as though I've been forgiven of a sin . I struggle so, trying desperately to be as good as I can be and without warning ...there I've done something again. Does it hurt for you too? Is it hard to feel worth the forgiveness, even when it seems to be a reoccurring sin? I struggle to do what is right in the eyes of God, and yes we are all our own worst critic,but for me it seems to break my heart when I do something wrong.

I found myself listening to a Christian radio station.....something I do often, when I heard a preacher speaking on the topic of having to have faith in grace. Not faith alone mind you, but faith in grace , then he went on to describe how our Father in Heaven gave His only begotten to die for the transgressions of man. How we need to be able to accept that grace from Jesus Christ and realize the purpose of that which He had suffered so greatly for. I began to think to myself , How do I feel when I repent?. Then it occurred to me that yes I was heart felt in my prayers , and yes I truly was meaning the words which I spoke and yes I was humble. So if all those things were in check....then was I having faith in grace? No , I believe that when I pray to ask for forgiveness I believe that He hears my pleas and forgives the sin , but if I don't forgive myself and don't have that faith in the grace of a Father who loves me so much then I never really get forgiven now do I.

I would admonish all who read this to pray on the topic at hand and ask this very hour .... Lord do I have sin that I am in need of repentance? I do I'm sure, If you say you don't then your a better person then I could ever be and if that is so then would you please leave me a note at the comment box and tell me how perfection feels. I , we have got to come to terms with every wrong we have ever committed , even those that lie in the darkest part of our memories. I feel as we aspire to be more forgiving of ourselves, when we have humble asked Father in Heaven for forgiveness, then we must have faith in grace and know that his mercy and grace is sufficient to all.

So with that I leave you , begging to have His mercy and grace, praying for faith in His grace, and believing that it is sufficient for me ...just like it was for the Apostle Paul.